


Lonely Rivers flow to the sea

by orphan_account



Series: The only water in the forest is the River [1]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Episode: s07e05 The Angels Take Manhattan, F/M, Goodbyes, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, Spoilers for Episode: s07e05 The Angels Take Manhattan, Stormcage Containment Facility, goodbye letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-26
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-20 21:07:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1525724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'When one is in love with an ageless god, one does ones best to hide the damage' - River Song</p><p>P.s. I don't own any characters, angles take Manhattan, Some of the dialog or Doctor Who.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The note

_ Stormcage Containment Facility _

_Hello Sweetie,_

_I know what you’re thinking, and I know that you want an explanation for what you have just witnessed. I can only hope that you arrived later rather than sooner. Just know that it isn’t your fault and that it needed to be done. I was in Manhattan when I realized what I had to do, after you saw my hand and you looked as if you would do anything to make it better- I have nightmares about that expression. What an old fool will do for love._

_I can still remember every detail of that crisp New York night. I remember how badly you hurt me, how hard I tried to convince myself that I was okay, it didn’t take a detective to see that you had broken my heart into a million razor-sharp pieces "And the wrist is pretty bad too" I muttered, because no matter how great the physical pain, the agony in my heart shall never be equaled. All it takes is one glimpse of your baby face, the face that never ages and the pain comes back. When I am with you I know I must be strong; that there are some things you must never know, spoilers never to be told._

_For example, you must never know that I cry myself to sleep every single night, thinking of the day that you will look at my ever aging face and not have a clue who I am. Every time that you step out of the Tardis and call my name over the noise that the Tardis makes because you leave those damn brakes on,  you know River song just that little bit less . And in a way, so I. I have many names; the woman who kills the doctor, the doctors wife, the doctors biggest regret, even. But one thing will never change, without you, I am no one._

_I remember our wedding day, when you asked me if I would suffer more than every other living thing in the universe if I killed you, and I answered yes. I lied. What I meant to tell you is that if I killed you I wouldn't suffer, no; suffering would be far too pleasant. If I killed you... Oh, good lord, if I had killed you..._

_Hopefully, I will have left by the time you see me next, I just wanted to say goodbye and make sure that you know that none of this is your fault and that I love you, so much that it has torn my heart to shreds so many times and now that you hardly know me anymore I just can't bear it. So, with that I say thank you for every second that you have given me and I must apologize for every moment to come._

_Goodbye Sweetie_

_All the love in the universe and so, so much more_

_River xxx_

_And doctor, find somebody; give her all the love that we will never share. Take her to the singing towers, dance with her in the purple rains of Galstar and kiss her under the 7 full moons of Stating. Live for both of us and whatever you do, don't you dare travel alone._

And with that she closed the Tardis blue book and just tried not to let the whimper of pain escape her lips. She had to be strong, just one more time.

And then she wordlessly nodded the shining black gun that waited beside her, before slowly lifting it from the bed linin and turning it toward her breast. Then, she squeezed the little dark trigger just one eighth of an inch...


	2. The doctor

Darlek mother ship – north-east Milky Way  

The doctor was just about to pause for breath when he heard the unmistakable call of “Exterminate! Exterminate!”

“Darleks, really? What did I do wrong this time?” He asked between massive gulps of air.

“You deleted the universe, you must die!” Yelled the nearest Darlek. 

“We both know that’s not trr- Well, maybe, sort of, yes. But none of that matters, because I managed to do some very clever stuff, talk very, very fast and rebuild it perfectly” (Sort of, he really must get round to fixing those cracks at some point).

“You deleted the universe, you must die!” Repeated possibly the most annoying creature in the universe – not including River of course. 

And with that the doctor began to run like hell, making a mental note to leave out Darleks next time he has to create the universe after accidently blowing it up.

Not that any of that mattered, there were more important things to do. He had managed to hack into the Darlek data base, use their time space energy to bend the vortex He’d literally destroyed everything and rebuilt it from a single cell to be with her (Oh, yes he was brilliant). He and River are on the same timeline. They could be together; the only thing left to do is take her home. 

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he forgot he’d put that invisibility thing on the Tardis and crashed into it at full speed, before making yet another mental note to remember where he parks the Tardis, despite knowing that he’ll never actually manage it.

The ship took off the moment he walked through the doors, knowing exactly where they wanted to go. (Why can’t she do that when _he_ wants to go somewhere?). He combed his hair, put on a brand new tie (The last one was frayed from a collision with a cyber-rat) and considered turning on the stabilizers, but eventually decided that he wouldn’t give up the Tardis noise for anyone, not even for his beautiful psychopath of a wife.      

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :-D  
> third chapter is coming in the next few days  
> Please comment and please tell me if made some spelling/grammar mistakes


	3. Sometimes, just Sometimes...

 “River!” Called the doctor from inside the Tardis, “Where shall we go this time? Oh, come on, I don’t have all da…” He bellowed popping his head round the door to see what she could possibly be up to.

Then, he saw her. It was River, _his_ River collapsedon the cold, metal floor, in an ever growing pool of her own blood, and her once snowy white Jumpsuit dyed a rich shade of Crimson. Never had he wanted to hurt another creature as much as then. He made an oath to himself, that he would find whatever had done this to her, and he would give them hell.

He ran to her the very second that he came out of shock and reached for her hand, the one he’d healed in Manhattan. When she’d told him that “he must never see the damage, and never, ever see her age.” Oh, no… River… What have you done? Suddenly it all made sense, the look on her face all those years ago, it must have only been hours for her since when she said goodbye with tears In her eyes, after looking in her diary and finding nothing left for them to explore. Oh Sweetie, you couldn’t have been more wrong. She didn’t know that he’d bent the vortex, ripped apart the universe and put it all back together again just to be her. They were on the same timeline, but now it couldn’t have mattered less.

He wanted to hold her hand and tell her it was all going to be alright, but he just couldn’t bring himself to lie to her, not today. So he slowly crawled across the room until he has by her side, and lowered his lips to her delicate fingers.

                                       ~~~

It took all of her strength to pull her hand away from him. Even so, she didn’t dare look at his face; she was too scared of what she would see. But it was okay, it wouldn’t be long now, and the doctor would be safe – that’s all that matters.

Then why did it hurt so much to let go? She had prepared herself for the physical pain – She was used to it, but she didn’t expect to feel like this.   

                                      ~~~   

The doctor concentrated as his hands started to glow with regeneration energy, he could save her, if she could only accept that he wasn’t going to let her die like his.

“River, I fixed the paradox, we’re on the same timeline now. You don’t have to do this. You, me, all of time and space, I can give you that now. Please, just let me save you,” begged the doctor

“So that they can track me down and make me kill you?” Croaked River, trying to keep a steady voice

“Over my dead body” Came the reply

“Sweetie, that’s exactly why I need to do this,”

It was then that he realized that there was nothing in all of time and space that he could do to save the woman he lived for. It was enough to bring even the mighty destroyer of the universe to his knees and his voice started to quiver "No...Just no, River, please don't leave me," he begged his dying wife, her frail body becoming limper by the second. A silent tear fell into the ocean of scarlet liquid on the cold, grey floor. A drop of pure water in an ocean of blood.

At that moment she realized how desperate she was to cry out his name, to have him hold her in the final moments. It would be so easy to just give up and hold his hand. But she knew that she couldn't, her strength was all she had left to cling onto, and it was the only thing that the world couldn't take away from her.

But she realized only too late that it already had, the moment that she'd pulled the trigger.

River Song had nothing left.

So she closed her eyes one last time.

And nothing happened

Because sometimes, just sometimes, everybody lives,

Just not today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, thank you for reading.  
> I do have an idea that carries on from this story, please say if you want me to upload it   
> Please comment what you thought about this story.


End file.
